SON: Mum, are you driving me to school this morning? ME: Nope. Petrol shortage. Crisis thing. SON: Oh. Don’t we use gas in our car? ME: Don’t be ridiculous. And I also wish you’d stop saying things like ‘taking out the trash’ and ‘oh, look at the leaves, it’s Fall already’ and ‘I was on […]
GERRIT OUT ME YUR!
I’m not so sure that this happens as much to kids these days. But I had exceptionally thick hair – even my hairdresser hated me as a child. My daughter has inherited a barnet of busy-ness. So this is a serious list of Bad Things: BAD THINGS THAT GOT STUCK IN YOUR HAIR: 1. CANDYFLOSS […]
Past Chats
Son’s hair still looks like a bird nest and he’s just returned from a couple of days with the grandparents: ME: Nice time? What did you do? SON: Oh, they took me for my dinner at Morrisons cafe. It was amazing. I had a bacon butty with about 6 slices of bacon on it and […]
A Tale of Too Many Bobs
In the car with the 13 yr old. A song comes on Radio 2. SON: It’s funny, I always thought Bob Dylan was black. And then I saw a picture of him and he turned out to be white. ME: Eh? SON: And I like his music, but it’s a shame he hates women. ME: […]
Ben, Jerry, Jerry and Keir
I’m reading something very serious, very political. My son is trying to pretend to be interested in my life, because he wants me to crack open the Ben & Jerry’s Half-Baked. He’s so transparent: SON: Sooo… what cha, reading Mum? ME: Just some revolutionary socialist article about the Labour Party, the concept of labour aristocracy, […]
Hair of The Dog
This is a follow-up to my previous ‘someone mistook my son for a dog in a car’ post. I’m driving my 13 yr old to his grandparents for a few days. He’s not been able to kip there since March 2019 and needs a few reminders: ME: Right. Your grandparents won’t be used to the […]
- « Previous Page
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- …
- 40
- Next Page »