Phoning the MRI Unit:
ME: Hi, my name’s Christina. I had an MRI yesterday. I was using a wheelchair. You might remember me … and my husband.
RECEPTIONIST: Ah yes. He parked you in a corner – facing the wall.
ME: He couldn’t steer that hospital wheelchair. It was rubbish.
RECEPTIONIST: And he told everyone in the waiting room that it was ‘the only time he ever had a bit of control over you’.
ME: Yes. Hilarious. Anyway – for the MRI, I really did do everything properly. I made sure I had no zips or earrings, I wore a crop top bra instead of one with metal clasps. But I’m worried now … that I might have damaged myself, or… maybe your equipment.
RECEPTIONIST: Why?
ME: Because when I got home and took my bra off, a pound coin fell out.
RECEPTIONIST: What?
ME: It’s just that no-one in our house puts things in the right place and when I’m moving stuff around, I don’t always have pockets and…
RECEPTIONIST: (Laughing) You shove things down your bra.
ME: Only small things. And now I’m worried that it might have reacted with the equipment.
RECEPTIONIST: (Trying not to laugh). Well, it’s not something I’ve been asked before. Let me check with the radiographer.
(She puts me on hold for a few minutes)
RECEPTIONIST: (Still laughing) She says not to worry. The machine would have stopped if there was a problem.
ME: Oh, that’s a relief.
RECEPTIONIST: And you’ve cheered the whole team up today, with that. We’re thinking of adding it to the guidance letter for patients; “Check for things that you might have stuffed into your underwear. “
ME: Well, it’s nice to know that I’m doing my bit for the NHS.
Always good to make a clean breast of things.
And with Royal Approval! 😉 x